You're
asking
for it...
to stop.
That makes a difference.
stop. stop. stop. stop.
We all have a responsibility to prevent sexual violence.
Sexual violence is not just assaults. It is a spectrum, which starts with unhealthy attitudes and ends with assaults.
By actively calling out inappropriate behaviour or harassment, you are being what we call ‘an upstander’ – someone who doesn’t stand by while harmful behaviours continue.
But that is easier said than done. What does an upstander do?
You’ve come to the right place for some tips.
We can all help end sexual violence.
How to take action
Challenge harmful narratives
Actively question derogatory comments, jokes, and attitudes. There are ways of doing this without coming across as confrontational: challenge the underlying attitudes or state that it makes you uncomfortable.
Intervene in concerning situations
If you feel physically safe to do so, say something directly to the person behaving in a harmful way.
Subtle ways of intervening can also be just as effective, such as approaching the person experiencing discomfort and asking them if they want some fresh air or to join you for a drink.
Report concerning behaviour to the appropriate people (in a venue, this might be the security or bar staff. At work, this will be the HR team or your manager).
Encourage open communication
Listen to concerns and different perspectives and provide a safe space to discuss issues.
Offer support if someone has felt safe enough to disclose something.
Have clear boundaries
Make it known that disrespectful language and behaviour are not acceptable. In professional settings, understand power dynamics and refer individuals to organisational values and polices.
Teach children and young people how to advocate for themselves and to understand the importance of consent and boundaries.
Model equality and respect
At home, demonstrate gender equity and respect in family interactions.
At work, provide training for staff on being better upstanders and prioritising safety at all times.
Get involved
You can help by sharing the resources far and wide.
Supporter kit
Resources
Do You Want to Get Help?
Information on sexual harm and how to get help for yourself or others.
Fostering Respect
For parents and influencers of young people, this provides tools and resources to start conversations about healthy relationship behaviour.
Harassment Prevention at Work
WorkSafe New Zealand offers guidelines for preventing and responding to sexual harassment in the workplace.
Understanding Consent
New Zealand Police provide essential advice on understanding and respecting sexual consent.
Hospitality Support
For bars, restaurants, cafes and clubs, this provides tools to assist premises with meeting their responsibility requirement.
Respect Online
The eSafety Commissioner of Australia encourages people to take action against cyberbullying and support those who are bullied.
For help
If you have experienced sexual assault or harassment, you have the right to get help.
If you’re at immediate risk of harm, contact New Zealand Police on 111.
If you would like to speak to someone regarding an incident or for advice, the following services are available:
For people based in Canterbury, contact Aviva’s free 24/7 support line on 0800 AVIVA NOW (0800 28482 669).
For support throughout New Zealand, contact Safe to Talk on 0800 044 334 or text 4334.
